i always wonder why no one likes me and then i remember i dont even like me
wow it’s 420/420/420. this date will never happen again in our lifetime.
SO THIS ONE TIME IT WAS NEW YEARS EVE AND MY ASSHOLE OF A DAD WAS DRUNK AND WE MADE A BET. IF I COULD HIT HIM IN THE ASS CHEEK WITH A BLOWGUN DART THAT I WOULD GET $200. SO I AIMED IT (I WAS 12 YEARS OLD) AND I MISJUDGED THE AIM AND IT HIT HIM STRAIGHT IN THE NUTS AND MY BROTHER HANDED ME $500 WHILE MY DAD WAS TAKEN TO THE HOSPITAL VIA AMBULANCE.
Miley: “Dad I have something for Tanners bug collection”
my uncle: “that’s great”
Miley: “it’s a bird”
my uncle: “no its not”
They let it go and it flew away just fine, so we’re wondering how she caught it.
she caught another bird.
update: she caught a squirrel today
She is gonna rule the world one day with this power
when I die I want to be reincarnated as a kitten because at least then people will love me
SERIOUSLY BE NICE TO YOUR ANIMALS BECAUSE THEY LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU DESERVE AND MORE THAN ANY HUMAN EVER WILL